In line at T.J. Maxx a while back, I heard something strange. Two boys, around middle school age, were with their mom. As she finished paying for the purchases one boy said, "Thanks." The other quickly added his "thanks." I spoke up (I know you're shocked) and told the boys how impressed I was and how much it always meant to me when my kids said "thanks". I told them they were a tribute to their mom. The mom was appreciative and the boys looked embarrassed. But kudos from strangers stay with us, embarrassed or not.
My kids said "thank you" a lot. They still do. And it's still just as appreciated. One time when they were younger a friend overheard one of them thanking me at the end of a meal and she commented on it, saying her kids had never said "Thank you" to her. That got me thinking.
What I realized was that Mike always - always - tells me how much he appreciates meals. "Thanks, that was good." And so the kids thought that was what was right.
Last night at the church's Fall Festival I was in charge of the ring toss. Almost every child was prompted by parents to say "Thank You" when I handed them their toy or candy. The older ones who were by themselves were pretty good at remembering, too. But I found myself wondering if they knew to say thank you for things at home. Things like clean bathrooms, folded clothes, going to work, fixing dinner?
This morning Mike thanked me for his coffee. He said, "I'm the luckiest man to come down and have my cup of coffee sitting here waiting on me." Now how could I have a bad day after that?
Saying "Thank You" for special things is nice, but I think I like to be thanked even more for the things I've done hundreds of times.
What mundane thing needs to be appreciated in your life today?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Vampire Teeth and Reindeer Antlers
I love this time of year! Colorful trees, woodsmoke, pumpkins, costumes, spooky things, football, foggy mornings, chilly nights, flannel sheets, and those are just a few reasons to be excited. On facebook I'm so enjoying getting to share this excitement with other holiday folks. "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" was on TV last night and so many folks talked about watching it. And becoming a facebook fan of the movie, "Elf" means lots of inside info on elf etiquette - and how can that be a bad thing? More syrup, please.
Dressing up, decorating the yard, watching sappy holiday movies - again and again, loving how even traffic lights are Christmassy (red and green) make me happy. I'm thrilled to find so many other folks like me because sometimes being silly and exuberate gets you those looks. You know, those looks that say you're juvenile and not that smart.
When I did the children's sermons each week in Illinois, I did an experiement the week before school started. Before church I gave each child a scrap of paper and told them to right "yes" if they like school and were ready for it to start and "no" if they didn't like school. No names were on the papers. I collected the scraps of paper and then during the children's sermon talked about peer pressure to do what others think we should. I then asked those who like school and were ready for it to start to hold up their hands -only one child raised his hand. However, I then revealed that on the scraps of paper, when they were anonymous, every child had written "Yes" they liked school.
Not like I needed a lot of encouragement to act out my silliness, but this gave a huge boost to my belief that everyone wants to act as crazy as I do, but they're worried about what people will think.
So - here's to Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas - plastic vampire teeth, turkey decorations and reindeer antlers in public. Let the fun begin!
Dressing up, decorating the yard, watching sappy holiday movies - again and again, loving how even traffic lights are Christmassy (red and green) make me happy. I'm thrilled to find so many other folks like me because sometimes being silly and exuberate gets you those looks. You know, those looks that say you're juvenile and not that smart.
When I did the children's sermons each week in Illinois, I did an experiement the week before school started. Before church I gave each child a scrap of paper and told them to right "yes" if they like school and were ready for it to start and "no" if they didn't like school. No names were on the papers. I collected the scraps of paper and then during the children's sermon talked about peer pressure to do what others think we should. I then asked those who like school and were ready for it to start to hold up their hands -only one child raised his hand. However, I then revealed that on the scraps of paper, when they were anonymous, every child had written "Yes" they liked school.
Not like I needed a lot of encouragement to act out my silliness, but this gave a huge boost to my belief that everyone wants to act as crazy as I do, but they're worried about what people will think.
So - here's to Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas - plastic vampire teeth, turkey decorations and reindeer antlers in public. Let the fun begin!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Legacy in Yarn
Mama taught me to crochet when I was in elementary school. I made doll clothes and doll blankets and then when I was sixteen I crocheted my first big project - a bed spread for my double bed. I still have it, although it's really huge and the colors are a little optimistic and sugary (even for me). Mama even crocheted bathing suits for my dolls.
Mama learning to sew is one of my earliest memories. Daddy read the instructions and then helped Mama figure out what to do at our dining room table. Neither of them knew how to sew, but they didn't see a problem with learning as adults. Fifteen or so years later, I canceled the wedding dress I'd just ordered when I drew what I really wanted on a paper bag at work and Mama said she thought we could make it. And we did - exactly what I wanted.
My brothers even sewed sleeping bags for their G.I. Joe's.
Mama ran "The Yarn Barn" from our house. She and her partner would buy yarn in 16 pound hanks down in Dalton, Ga and then sell it in the room Daddy built next to our garage. Daddy invented a machine to wind 4 oz balls of yarn from the 16 lb. hanks. (We got paid to sit and wind the balls.) The 16 lb. hanks would fit around a large, outside sized garbage can turned upside down. The business flourished, until the supply of yarn dried up.
Daddy macrame'd an elaborate hanging bird feeder one time. He rigged it to hang above his easy chair so he could sit there, macrame and watch TV.
And we didn't think any of this was unusual.
Watching my parents taught me if you want to do something - figure it out and do it.
Now that's a legacy.
Mama learning to sew is one of my earliest memories. Daddy read the instructions and then helped Mama figure out what to do at our dining room table. Neither of them knew how to sew, but they didn't see a problem with learning as adults. Fifteen or so years later, I canceled the wedding dress I'd just ordered when I drew what I really wanted on a paper bag at work and Mama said she thought we could make it. And we did - exactly what I wanted.
My brothers even sewed sleeping bags for their G.I. Joe's.
Mama ran "The Yarn Barn" from our house. She and her partner would buy yarn in 16 pound hanks down in Dalton, Ga and then sell it in the room Daddy built next to our garage. Daddy invented a machine to wind 4 oz balls of yarn from the 16 lb. hanks. (We got paid to sit and wind the balls.) The 16 lb. hanks would fit around a large, outside sized garbage can turned upside down. The business flourished, until the supply of yarn dried up.
Daddy macrame'd an elaborate hanging bird feeder one time. He rigged it to hang above his easy chair so he could sit there, macrame and watch TV.
And we didn't think any of this was unusual.
Watching my parents taught me if you want to do something - figure it out and do it.
Now that's a legacy.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Kick-start for a Monday
God loves my children more than I do. My friend visiting from Indiana this week reminded me of this and it got me to thinking.
First, God loves our children more than we do because he's capable of perfect love. No matter how much we try, our love is always tainted by icky human stuff: selfishness, pride, ambition, vanity, and on and on. One of our pastors pointed out that he believes one reason there won't be marriages in heaven (as Jesus said in Matthew 22:30) is we'll be able to love perfectly and so won't love one person more than another. Interesting, isn't it?
So here's where I got to thinking - What other important things in my life is God more involved with than I've imagined? What else does he love and care about more than I do?
Does God love my marriage more than I do? Obviously, because I've not treated my marriage at all times as I should. So God loves my marriage and cares for it on a more consistent and deeper level than me. Cool. Little intimidating.
My home, My job, My friends - the things and people God has put in my life, things which he loves perfectly and I treat - well - not so good all the time.
My writing? Authors say their books are their babies and I know that feeling. So, wait a minute, God isn't ignoring my book or indifferent about it - he loves it more than I do? He wants the best for my writing? Wait, and he even actually knows what is best.
God loves my life more than I do AND he wants the best for it AND he knows what the best actually looks like. Well, now that makes for a good Monday!
First, God loves our children more than we do because he's capable of perfect love. No matter how much we try, our love is always tainted by icky human stuff: selfishness, pride, ambition, vanity, and on and on. One of our pastors pointed out that he believes one reason there won't be marriages in heaven (as Jesus said in Matthew 22:30) is we'll be able to love perfectly and so won't love one person more than another. Interesting, isn't it?
So here's where I got to thinking - What other important things in my life is God more involved with than I've imagined? What else does he love and care about more than I do?
Does God love my marriage more than I do? Obviously, because I've not treated my marriage at all times as I should. So God loves my marriage and cares for it on a more consistent and deeper level than me. Cool. Little intimidating.
My home, My job, My friends - the things and people God has put in my life, things which he loves perfectly and I treat - well - not so good all the time.
My writing? Authors say their books are their babies and I know that feeling. So, wait a minute, God isn't ignoring my book or indifferent about it - he loves it more than I do? He wants the best for my writing? Wait, and he even actually knows what is best.
God loves my life more than I do AND he wants the best for it AND he knows what the best actually looks like. Well, now that makes for a good Monday!
Friday, October 23, 2009
I have a Theory
I have a theory on giving. (Those of you that know me best are probably saying under your breath - "Well, of course you do. You have a theory on everything!")
One type of giving: We no longer have a need for that item. Like the kids coats we took to church last Sunday. Funny, you could tell we'd lived in the frozen North as the coat were big and thick (and one had Chicago Bears logos all over it.)
Another type of giving: We have an abundance. I've never had one of my kids ask for canned food to take to school for a donation drive when I haven't been able to go to the cupboard and fill a bag.
Another is giving off the top , or in church circles - tithing: Several places in the Bible we're told to give to God first and of our best, not from what's leftover. It's a spiritual principle we often seem to miss in stewardship campaigns.
But none of these quite cover my theory.
My theory on giving is that the very act of giving tells me that I have more than enough. Tells me I have an abundance. My heart and mind then begin believing I dwell in a place of abundance. So, I have more to give away and the more I give away - joyfully - the more I must have, so . . .
What do you want more of in your life? Understanding? Joy? Encouragement? Friendship? Time? Peace? Try my theory and start giving that away like you are full to the brim with it. And see what happens.
Live today as if your heart is over flowing through your open hands stretched toward those around you.
Or don't. After all, it is a choice.
Another type of giving: We have an abundance. I've never had one of my kids ask for canned food to take to school for a donation drive when I haven't been able to go to the cupboard and fill a bag.
Another is giving off the top , or in church circles - tithing: Several places in the Bible we're told to give to God first and of our best, not from what's leftover. It's a spiritual principle we often seem to miss in stewardship campaigns.
But none of these quite cover my theory.
My theory on giving is that the very act of giving tells me that I have more than enough. Tells me I have an abundance. My heart and mind then begin believing I dwell in a place of abundance. So, I have more to give away and the more I give away - joyfully - the more I must have, so . . .
What do you want more of in your life? Understanding? Joy? Encouragement? Friendship? Time? Peace? Try my theory and start giving that away like you are full to the brim with it. And see what happens.
Live today as if your heart is over flowing through your open hands stretched toward those around you.
Or don't. After all, it is a choice.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
My Mama on Reality TV
Top Chef is a reality show pitting chefs against each other in weekly challenges. I've watched it for several seasons and really enjoy it. Of the seven chefs left this year, two are brothers. They are easily two of the better chefs and seem like nice guys - however their rivalry with each other is just plain ol' sad.
Mama and Daddy raised three of us - I'm the oldest and I have two brothers. We're two years apart in age from each other. Mama was home with us every day and she just didn't allow us to treat each other badly. She'd say, "Why would I allow you to treat each other worse than I'd let a stranger treat you?" We weren't allowed to call each other names, just like we weren't allowed to call our friends (or even strangers) names.
Of course for those rules to work, Mama and Daddy had to do more than just give 'em lip service. They had to live them - after all - we weren't stupid. We were watching them to see if the rules were just talk or if they were good enough for Mama and Daddys' lives. And they were. They didn't call each other names or treat each other shabbily. They didn't call folks in traffic, or at work, or even on TV, names. They treated the people they lived with as good as the folks out in the world. What a concept.
Sure made for a happy, peaceful place to grow up. Mama was sometimes asked how she kept my brothers from fighting and her response was, "If there's going to be any fighting, I'm going to be in the middle of it and I'm going to win." That may not sound that peaceful, but if you're going to set down rules they better be backed up by more than wishes and good intentions. You better be ready to live them - and ready to enforce them.
Wouldn't you like to see my Mama make a visit to the Top Chef kitchen? Now that would be some good reality TV!
Mama and Daddy raised three of us - I'm the oldest and I have two brothers. We're two years apart in age from each other. Mama was home with us every day and she just didn't allow us to treat each other badly. She'd say, "Why would I allow you to treat each other worse than I'd let a stranger treat you?" We weren't allowed to call each other names, just like we weren't allowed to call our friends (or even strangers) names.
Of course for those rules to work, Mama and Daddy had to do more than just give 'em lip service. They had to live them - after all - we weren't stupid. We were watching them to see if the rules were just talk or if they were good enough for Mama and Daddys' lives. And they were. They didn't call each other names or treat each other shabbily. They didn't call folks in traffic, or at work, or even on TV, names. They treated the people they lived with as good as the folks out in the world. What a concept.
Sure made for a happy, peaceful place to grow up. Mama was sometimes asked how she kept my brothers from fighting and her response was, "If there's going to be any fighting, I'm going to be in the middle of it and I'm going to win." That may not sound that peaceful, but if you're going to set down rules they better be backed up by more than wishes and good intentions. You better be ready to live them - and ready to enforce them.
Wouldn't you like to see my Mama make a visit to the Top Chef kitchen? Now that would be some good reality TV!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
When versus If
When people ask me if I'm always happy my standard answer is, "I tried sad once and didn't like it."
Well, now I've tried being an "if" person and that's not working out for me either. A week ago I blogged - "However, in endeavors we spend so much time saying, "When I get the scholarship. When I get drafted. When I get an agent. When I get the job. When I get discovered. When we get the bid. When When When - Never the dreaded word "IF." Never. In the world of keeping on-keeping on, saying "IF" shows lack of belief, faith, determination."
I have nothing more to base a "when" on than I did last week, but I'm a happier person and way more functional dealing in belief. Sure, it may be delusional, but maybe it's like my feelings about fairies from a blog in August (http://kayshostak.blogspot.com/2009/08/do-you-believe-in-fairies.html)
"I'd rather believe fairies exist, than deal with a world where they don't."
For the past eight days I've lived in a world with limited possibilities for publication of my book. Last night I realized that's not who I'm called to be. I'm called to be the fairy-believing, hope always, laugh when you mess up, look for signs everywhere, know God has a plan and is CRAZY about me, person.
I do want to say thanks to those of you who know me well and have kept me in your prayers this week. Your cards and emails meant a lot to me. Sorry you have a friend who would drag you along for such a dreary ride! Here's one of my favorite quotes from the Anom. guy.
"Until further notice - Celebrate Everything!"
That Anom. sure sounds like a "when" person to me.
Well, now I've tried being an "if" person and that's not working out for me either. A week ago I blogged - "However, in endeavors we spend so much time saying, "When I get the scholarship. When I get drafted. When I get an agent. When I get the job. When I get discovered. When we get the bid. When When When - Never the dreaded word "IF." Never. In the world of keeping on-keeping on, saying "IF" shows lack of belief, faith, determination."
I have nothing more to base a "when" on than I did last week, but I'm a happier person and way more functional dealing in belief. Sure, it may be delusional, but maybe it's like my feelings about fairies from a blog in August (http://kayshostak.blogspot.com/2009/08/do-you-believe-in-fairies.html)
"I'd rather believe fairies exist, than deal with a world where they don't."
For the past eight days I've lived in a world with limited possibilities for publication of my book. Last night I realized that's not who I'm called to be. I'm called to be the fairy-believing, hope always, laugh when you mess up, look for signs everywhere, know God has a plan and is CRAZY about me, person.
I do want to say thanks to those of you who know me well and have kept me in your prayers this week. Your cards and emails meant a lot to me. Sorry you have a friend who would drag you along for such a dreary ride! Here's one of my favorite quotes from the Anom. guy.
"Until further notice - Celebrate Everything!"
That Anom. sure sounds like a "when" person to me.
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