What kind of pumpkin do you pick?

Lizzy made me gift for Mother's day this year, which sits on my desk. It's a 12 x 16 painting, lots of bright colored stars and flowers make up the background. Then she painted some of the words to the Taylor Swift song, Best Day, in black.
"I run and run past the pumpkin patch, oh look the sky is gold. I hug your legs, fall asleep on the way home. You're not scared of anything at all. You were on my side even when I was wrong. I know I had the Best Day with you."
And yes, we did go to pumpkin patches when the kids were little. And I always knew which kind of pumpkin each kid was drawn to. Big, Small, Tall, Stemmed, Round . . .
This weekend, with the kids and fiances here, we talked a lot about them as children. Carrie said at one point, how cool it is to see the same traits in them as adults, that Mike and I talk about them having as children. We are born with certain traits, abilities and preferences, aren't we? And throughout our life we reject who we are, enhance who we are, embrace who we are and attempt to change who we are. Then just when I get it set in my mind, something shifts and I'm someone else. I barely got used to being an empty nester and now I'm going to be a mother-in law!
There are lots of reasons to believe in God or to need to believe in God. However, I think it's the idea of being known that strikes deepest in me. To be known without all the world's labels.
To just be known - and loved in spite of it!

Home again, Home again . . .

Getting ready today - all three kids and the two fiances' will be here this weekend! We haven't seen Lizzy since we left her there in August, so we're extra excited about that AND we get to see both rings! Carrie's mom and Casey's folks will be here Saturday night for dinner. We're thinking we can squeeze it in between the Georgia and Tennessee games.
It's fun getting ready for the kids to come home. I actually went down all the aisles at the grocery store yesterday. I rarely do that anymore. Mike had to straighten up his office/guest room and I guess I need to check the bathroom down stairs.
Favorite foods are in the plans for today, chicken casserole for Lizzy tonight, unbaked cookies, pumpkin bread all are on my to-do list today. Tomorrow there are ribs and a turkey breast for the smoker and, of course, champagne.
I've got the fall decorations up, pumpkin spice candles, a cinnamon broom and Mike has hung his decrepit skeleton in front of the garage. I'm hoping he can't find that lighted tombstone the kids drug home from someone elses garbage one year. (It's plastic with lights inside and a string of orange bubble lights draped over it's top.) Can anyone say - tacky? But if it makes Mike happy, and it does, then so be it.
Home sweet home - a full house tonight when we go to sleep.
Having them leave is hard, but having them come home is wonderful compensation.

Autumn again.

Sitting in my rocking chair looking out the front windows, I notice the maple across the street is beginning to turn. Before long it will be orangy-yellow. The tall walnut beside our house will be pure gold, towering over our roof. A jewel-toned tapestry is what the oak will remind me of and the half dozen crepe myrtles will turn peachy-red. And then every single leaf will fall to the ground. Every one. Hard to imagine.
When we lived in Jacksonville, Florida folks took their vacations in the fall to go to Tennessee and "see the leaves turn". Since I'd grown up in Tennessee, I thought that was funny. Until I spent a couple falls in Florida. Then I found myself seeking out roads lined with sumac - basically a spindly weed, but which turns scarlet red in the fall. That was the height of my autumnal glory for a few years.
I love summer, but when the leaves begin to look tired and the flowers struggle to appear happy, I'm ready for everything to have a rest. For the trees to go out in a blaze of glory. For the zinnas and begonias to be put out of their leggy misery. For the sky to deepen to match the deep blue of September's birth stone. All signs it is time to say goodbye to summer.
When something's been good, it's hard to let go. With two engagements this past week and Lizzy settling in and busy at college, the future is very much with us. However, sometimes in the early darkening of the afternoons, I remember those days when I gathered my little ones inside as the leaves fell. Remember the laughter and red cheeks around the table, eager to share supper with mom and dad, brother and sister. Tales of their days at school or play winding down in cozy beds sheltered from brisk winds.
Lengthening shadows seem to lenghthen my memories.

Golden Air

The air turned gold yesterday.
One day, late August or early September, the air changes and is threaded with gold. Sometimes the gold goes away and summer's blue-white light comes back. But today, the gold returned. The gold means Autumn is pushing Summer off center stage. This year it's been a rather dramatic entrance. Summer didn't put up a fight at all, well, not yet.
I'm loving the change, but it did happen a little too suddenly. The pool is not going to get warm again. Bummer. We thought we'd have this weekend to finish up pool season or maybe even next week. But when our water gets cold, it's cold. And I don't do cold water.
So, no end of summer celebration. No last time in the pool. The last time passed unnoticed.
A toddler's mom recently asked if she should rock her son back to sleep when he unexpectedly woke up crying in the night. I said, "Absolutely, because you never know the last time they cry for you in the night." One day you realize no one has woken you up in a while and the night time vigils are over. The rocking chair gets moved to the living room and those wakeful nights that would never end - end.
Such a balancing act - the Past and the Future. Regrets and Hopes all trying to share space in my little brain and heart. And yet if I don't find room to house all of it, the Present is poorer.
God, give me the ability to mark this time you've given me. To not waste it with either regrets or hopes. To walk the particular balance beam that is my life. To bring it all to This Day.
After all, you've made the very air gold.

Tis the Season!

Seasons really get to me. They dictate the candles I burn, the colors of my clothes, my shoes, my perfume, how the house is decorated, what I cook, and more. If I smell a cinnamon candle in the spring it just seems so wrong. So very wrong. Or to wear lavender in the fall - shudder. I even have trouble looking at those purple mums mixed in the rust and gold mums in fall displays. And as for music, I can only play Jimmy Buffet if it's summer weather. My brother says he needs it in the winter to get him through, but steel drums in December makes my skin crawl.
So this shot of fall weather here the first week of September is making me antsy. It's not time yet and I'm afraid I'm going to get into a fall mood and then it will be 90 in a week. I did just check weather.com and the 10-day forecast remains autumnal.
When we lived in Jacksonville,FL, autumn was manufactured. The grocery stores would pile up apples, pumpkins, gourds and indian corn AND turn down the air conditioner. Even the office buildings would turn the air down so it would feel colder. (I'm not making this up.) That way everyone could wear their fall clothes. Men would don tweed sport coats and women would pull their sweaters to the front of the closet. Now in Tampa, it was just tropical, so there was no pretending there were seasons. Air conditioning stayed on, because it was hot outside.
In Chicago - well, summer was the season we manufactured by pretending we weren't cold all the time.
Interesting to have lived many places and have different experiences. It's a wonderful world out there!
I think I'll get my fall purse out of the closet - maybe.