Friday, September 4, 2009

Golden Air

The air turned gold yesterday.
One day, late August or early September, the air changes and is threaded with gold. Sometimes the gold goes away and summer's blue-white light comes back. But today, the gold returned. The gold means Autumn is pushing Summer off center stage. This year it's been a rather dramatic entrance. Summer didn't put up a fight at all, well, not yet.
I'm loving the change, but it did happen a little too suddenly. The pool is not going to get warm again. Bummer. We thought we'd have this weekend to finish up pool season or maybe even next week. But when our water gets cold, it's cold. And I don't do cold water.
So, no end of summer celebration. No last time in the pool. The last time passed unnoticed.
A toddler's mom recently asked if she should rock her son back to sleep when he unexpectedly woke up crying in the night. I said, "Absolutely, because you never know the last time they cry for you in the night." One day you realize no one has woken you up in a while and the night time vigils are over. The rocking chair gets moved to the living room and those wakeful nights that would never end - end.
Such a balancing act - the Past and the Future. Regrets and Hopes all trying to share space in my little brain and heart. And yet if I don't find room to house all of it, the Present is poorer.
God, give me the ability to mark this time you've given me. To not waste it with either regrets or hopes. To walk the particular balance beam that is my life. To bring it all to This Day.
After all, you've made the very air gold.


Lauren said...

"Teach me to count the days,
teach me to make the days count,
Lead me in better ways.
Sometimes my soul forgot.
Life means so much..." Chris Rice

Paula said...

It is empty in the house with out them, isn't it. Your reflections have changed since the last one left. Motherhood was sweet. Heartaches and all. I rejoyce when I see all my kids grow up, make grown up choices, jump out into the big world and become parents. I don't know what I would do without my faith and I am so glad God helped me share it with many. I loved them all.