Tuesday, September 8, 2009

It's Dark in the Tunnel

I've often said it's hard enough when the kids go away to school, that I can't imagine how hard it would be if they weren't happy once they got there.
Now I can imagine it.
Lizzy is having a tough time and she just can't seem to catch a break. The one break she did get, turned out to be not so good.
Mike was in Oregon last week and their high-rail truck (a pickup truck with attachments to allow it to ride on railroad tracks) died in the middle of a tunnel and then derailed. Luckily, the line is abandoned, so no oncoming trains. But he says it was dark - very dark. They had to walk a long way and then ended up pushing the truck out of the tunnel.
When you're in a tunnel you only have one choice - keep walking until you're out of it.
Lizzy keeps walking. But the lights she sees in the distance, keep turning out to not be real light. It's just another branch of the tunnel. And she keeps walking. She knows she'll get out one day and this will just be an unhappy time in her past. But it's so dark.
And I'm so far away. I guess that's good because everything in me says, get a flashlight and go get her. But this is her faith journey, not mine.
You know that footprints poem? Well, if I go rushing in to carry her she'll never understand what it is to be carried by God.
All I know is I can't imagine her being so far away without her faith.
And I can't imagine me being here without mine.


Trish said...

What a great Mom you are! So loving and patient and full of great advice for your kids and everyone else! I hope I grow up to be as good a Mom as you are someday!

Hope things work out for Lizzy. I know it's harder for you to let your only daughter go through hard times. My girls are involved in their own struggles as well. Prayer and faith are our greatest assets through it all.

Keep the faith!


Jodie said...

Kay, this may be one of your most beautiful posts yet. I think I'll print it out to remind myself when my own "little one" needs me to let her walk her own path with her Jesus.

Kay Dew Shostak said...

Thanks Trish and Jodie, it's a lesson us moms have to learn and it's a never painless. Your encouragement means everything to me today!

Paula said...

This one hits too close to home. I wonder if things had been different if I had made different choices. it took me a while to hold back and let them figuire it out. It is hard when safety and life is at stake. I have learned to let let God carry them and me too. I do not know what is up with lizzy but i know my little sister thought she had to do everything the way I did until she figured out that wasn't what she wanted. I wish I had you gift. You are awesome. should be out there talking and writing to the moms before they go rescuing there kids.

Kay Dew Shostak said...

Paula your words touched me. You have a great ability to show your vulnerability. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.