"Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love."
That is my favorite line in any hymn or worship song. Maybe that has something to do with my favorite passage in the Bible, John 15, which features two words "remain" and "abide".
I have complete faith that God would never leave me - but I have just as much faith that I am real prone to wandering. I can convince myself of pretty much anything (it's that delusional thing again). I sometimes think too much and can get way down a line of thinking before I realize where I'm going. There's my ability to get way involved in stuff that interests me - books, writing, football, politics. People fascinate me so I watch people a lot. Those close to me and those not so close - what did they do or say, what will they do or say, why did they do or say that?
All of this is how I wander, little bit by little bit.
Now some folks may be able to keep from wandering by themselves. Not me. That's what I need church for. I need a body of struggling people who are voluntarily coming together to remind themselves and each other what believing in God is all about.
That's why I go to church and why I love it. To join with others just as clueless about the road we'll face tomorrow, but ready to face it together because we know God owns the road. And we worship God together - with differences and doubts, and, yet, hope. Hope because God knows us and knows we are prone to wander.
I think that's why he calls himself a shepherd - tending a bunch of wandering, clueless folks.
Wandering? Clueless? Sign me up!