Stimulated Yet?

The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind. Albert Einstein

This quote by Einstein was tweeted by a friend (okay, so she's an agent in England whom I've never met) this morning and, boy, do I hope it's true. Lizzy goes back to school in a few weeks and with Mike's work travel ratcheted up several notches - there's some monotony and quiet life in my immediate future. But if it stimulates my creativity then that's a good thing. Right?
Thinking back I kind of find that to be true. Taking care of little kids is a roller coaster ride of wildly erratic and boring. Seems those boring times might've been what led me to writing. And sewing. And doing crafts. And gardening.
Or was it just that I had the time to do those things? And having the time - couldn't that be because of all that "monotony" and "solitude". Hmmm . . .
What do you think? Do you find your creativity spurred on by lots of activity and stimulation? Or do you need quiet and solitude?
Have you heard the definitions of an extrovert is someone who gets more energy from being with people and an introvert is someone who derives their energy from being alone? Interesting, isn't it? Before I heard those definitions I figured I was the poster child for extroverts. But, honestly, I like people and their stories so much that being with people requires all of my attention and concentration and so it drains me. I have to have, and crave, alone time.
So, now that I find myself with some of that craved for alone time - let's see if it stimulates my creative mind. And seriously, let me know what stimulates YOUR creative mind.

My Task Today

It's been five weeks since I looked at my WIP - work in progress. The second Chancey book was finished on May 12, only days before I left for the writer's conference. I closed the file on it and haven't even peeked at it since then. For me, it's good to let it sit a while (plus there was this wedding thing.) This morning I'll go back and start reading it through and making notes.
Knowing when what is in your head makes it to the paper, is difficult. Does it flow? Does it keep my interest? Is everything needed for the story to make sense actually down in black and white - or still rattling around in my head? Are the changes the characters make reasonable? Are the scenes set clearly enough?
I'm really excited to go back and look at it. I began this story at the end of last Summer and it's a good bit of a mystery to me. There will be things I read which make me say, "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that." And there will be places where suddenly I'll realize why a character did something at the end of the book that seemed odd when I wrote it, but had been all set up earlier. See why I'm excited to read it?
Today is like a new beginning after a long break and I'm so ready for it. Here's a line from Beth Moore that I have hanging by my desk.
"One day at the task God has personally assigned only you is better than a thousand days at someone else's."
Let's get going!

I'm not Writing

Okay, did anyone out there actually think I'd get any writing done down here? Hopefully not, because I haven't even plugged in my zip drive (where my wip - work in progress - is located.) I didn't think I'd get any writing done, but I thought I might try.
Isn't time away what a writer longs for?
But maybe it's because there is no longer anyone at home all day, but me. No one popping in at 2:15 or staying home because they're sick or calling to say they're going to Taco Bell after school. But I think if the kids were home and I was here - I'd be thinking I should enjoy the free time, not spend it staring at a computer.
And, at home, the house doesn't distract me - I have the amazing ability to ignore housework or to give it so little importance that I do it without thinking. Some folks, including my husband, tell me they can't work at home. Too many to-do lists constantly swim before their eyes.
For me being in a strange place means there might be something new for me to see. Or, when will I get to see the ocean again, or drive on A1A, or drink a margarita poolside, or . . .
And maybe if I was on a deadline I'd be writing here at the beach, however I think I know myself enough that if I was on a deadline, I wouldn't have come.
So, just thought I should set the record straight. And for those of you who are smiling and saying, "I knew she wasn't working." Give yourself a high five and take the day off.
I am.

The Gift of Validation

One reason I thought I was supposed to write was because of the things I notice in nature. Like today - the leaves on the bushes in my back yard are such a dark green, they are almost black. So different from the yellowy-green of spring, deep mature green of summer, or the tired, dusty green when fall is just around the corner. Now, those of you up north are wondering why we still have green leaves - well, down here some of the bushes, not just the pine or fir, have green leaves year-round.
Through the years, as I would share my observations about the world around us, I could see people were seeing them for the first time. If that wasn't something for me to share, and of course the outlet I thought of was writing, then why did I notice these things?
So, into the books these descriptions went.
This week, working with someone on my manuscript, Next Stop, Chancey, she said she thought my descriptions of outside settings was wonderful. She actually named some published authors and said mine were better than theirs.
Wow - isn't it amazing what validation will do for you? My confidence in my gift soared. To know the passages that were some of my favorite are thought good by someone with real knowledge of the craft was probably the best gift I'll get this Christmas (except for a daughter-in-law).
Like while walking in mud, to suddenly find solid rock beneath my feet.
I hope I don't pass up the opportunities given me to sincerely validate those around me. Not empty flattery, but true awareness of a gift being used, and made the most of.

Lost in a Bog?

NaNoWriMo - seen that conglomeration of letters recently? If you have writer friends, or wannabe writers, you may have seen it pop up on facebook or twitter. It stands for National Novel Writing Month. Last year 120,000 folks signed on to NaNoWriMo to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. Yep, in one month - and November is that month.
It's about quanity over quality. The idea is you won't be editing or rephrasing or outlining. You will write. And write. And write. Then between Nov. 25-30 you submit your 50,000 word novel to the website and you get a certificate back saying you are a Novelist! Of course, the piece of paper isn't the goal. The goal is getting words on paper.
Many writers get bogged down in the craft - not a bad thing at all. We can all name books we wish had a little more craft in them. Often, however, the bog wins and those words and ideas are lost in the muck. And lost in the muck is a frustrating, awful place to be.
Writers are not the only ones that get lost in muck. Messy houses are mucky. Jobs can be full of muck. Bogs of muck can be found in families and even at church. This whole NaNoWriMo thing has got me thinking of how it might work for some of these other mucky messes.
To set my sights above the details and problems and worries for a set amount of time. To push ahead and not be slowed or stopped by the minutiae of muck. Hmmm . . .
I don't have any cute answers or anything - just thinking.

Kick-start for a Monday

God loves my children more than I do. My friend visiting from Indiana this week reminded me of this and it got me to thinking.
First, God loves our children more than we do because he's capable of perfect love. No matter how much we try, our love is always tainted by icky human stuff: selfishness, pride, ambition, vanity, and on and on. One of our pastors pointed out that he believes one reason there won't be marriages in heaven (as Jesus said in Matthew 22:30) is we'll be able to love perfectly and so won't love one person more than another. Interesting, isn't it?
So here's where I got to thinking - What other important things in my life is God more involved with than I've imagined? What else does he love and care about more than I do?
Does God love my marriage more than I do? Obviously, because I've not treated my marriage at all times as I should. So God loves my marriage and cares for it on a more consistent and deeper level than me. Cool. Little intimidating.
My home, My job, My friends - the things and people God has put in my life, things which he loves perfectly and I treat - well - not so good all the time.
My writing? Authors say their books are their babies and I know that feeling. So, wait a minute, God isn't ignoring my book or indifferent about it - he loves it more than I do? He wants the best for my writing? Wait, and he even actually knows what is best.
God loves my life more than I do AND he wants the best for it AND he knows what the best actually looks like. Well, now that makes for a good Monday!

Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me - remember the Hee Haw song?

Active hope is tiring. Only thing is, it's the only thing I've got.
Blue Ridge Novelist Retreat is this week. Last year it was fantastic. Fifty writers in the North Carolina mountains talking constantly about writing. Much published authors teaching exhilarating classes and becoming "real" as everyone shares meals and worship. This year, with two in college and two weddings around the corner, it just wasn't in the budget. I felt good about that sacrifice--until I started seeing facebook statuses from my friends at the retreat.
Why keep doing this? Just so I can say my computer memory is more full of original writing than yours? Honestly, that's about all I have to show for it. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of not knowing. I'm tired of keeping on, keeping on. Calling myself a writer, because that's what I do. But if there is no one to read what you write . . .
There's this deep terror that I'll be in this same place in 10 years, or 10 months, or 10 days, or even for the next 10 minutes.
I wish I could be more noble and say it doesn't matter. That just being able to write is enough for me. But I want validation for my time, my learning, my work. I want something to base my writing hopes on. And sometimes I just want to not think about it, stop networking, quit working out scenes, stop the writers e-mail loops, not try and figure out a way to learn more.
But not today. I'll go downstairs and write - at least today. I believe I have enough hope for today, but as for tomorrow . . .

I'm watching . . .

Rush Limbaugh responded yesterday on his show to questions of why he hasn't written any more books or done another television show. He said television requires set up and planning out, where and when you need a picture or prop, so it's confining and gives him less freedom. As for writing he said he can't write as fast as he can think, so he looses the flow. He finished by saying he knows speaking is his best format, hence why radio works for him.
I think about a blog before I sit down to write it. Scenes in my books play around some in my mind before they appear on paper. However, I need my fingers on the keys to make it happen. Doing this daily blog has really taught me that. My thoughts can only go so far and then I get that itch. That itch that says I need to put my fingers on the keys for things to continue. Now, I've seen it happen so often that it's a real thing to me. I need to see and read the words before the final thoughts can form.
Before I started doing this blog, I don't think this connection had been made in my mind. I think better and can express myself better when I'm writing.
Is that what is all around us? Folks who express themselves best through flower arranging, music, cooking, car repair, cleaning, building, teaching, caring and every other possible thing?
So, for those around us, helping them identify in what way they express themselves best is important. But that requires me paying attention and then speaking up. How cool!
To be on the lookout for people expressing themselves and to then acknowledge it. Excellent!
Life just gets funner and funner - doesn't it?

New Things Stink

Learning new things can stink. One reason to go to writer's conferences is to learn, right? But there are some folks who never get around to submitting a manuscript because each time they learn something new, they go home to incorporate it in to their writing. Thus, nothing is ever finished.
We're told, in everything - not just writing - "do your best", "put your best foot forward", "don't settle" and yet if there is anything left to learn then your current effort can not be the "best". You must "settle" at some point.
"You can never be too skinny or too rich." And so we have anorexia and Bernie Madoff. Getting a 4.0 isn't good enough - weight those grades. And then there is giving 110%.
But what if for one day - I just did what I already know. If I didn't worry about also learning to knit, but just enjoyed crocheting? If I didn't look for a new recipe, but made something familiar? If I treated folks the way I know to treat them and didn't worry about what "more" I could do?
This train of thought came because of a Bible verse I found today, which I'd never noticed before. "Only let us live up to what we have already attained." (Phillipians 3:16)
Now I know the Bible points to being "people of excellence" and "striving", but this little, non-heralded verse grabbed me this morning. It speaks of contentment and of the truth that most of us know what we need to know - we just need to do it.
Hmmm - might be interesting to try.

Looking for Questions

In the pastor's Bible study last night, he would read a verse or two and then say, "Now that makes me think of some questions, like . . ." His questions sometimes were answerable, but some were those which you only get answers to in heaven. He would then ask us what questions the verses called to our minds. Several people answered each time, but I noticed something. None of us were laying out questions. We all either had observations about the passage or possible answers for his questions. Not one of us had another question, any of the times. The pastor was gracious and never pointed it out, but he kept asking.
So I started trying to find questions in the verses. Man, it was hard.
I realized how often I look for answers, not questions. I've already seen a quick look at how it would change my Bible reading. What about other reading?
In an on-line discussion writers group recently the subject was why is Christian fiction often looked down on. My response was that many times Christian fiction doesn't leave us with questions. When I read a book that leaves me with questions - not about the plot - but questions like "What would I do?" "Why would they act that way?" "Could I live like that?" "What makes them think that?" I tend to revere that book more highly.
As I said earlier this week, I like to fix things so I tend to look for answers, especially when reading the Bible. This looking for questions is interesting.
I love new thoughts!

Looking for some Rejection

Somewhere in the night I decided to sent query letters out to several agents today. A query letter is one page asking if the agent might be interested in seeing some or all of your book. The problem with sending out query letters is they lead to a lot of "No's".
Most of the "No's" aren't mean, but they're still a rejection. And, seriously, who goes looking for rejection? The truth is, most anyone that gets anything done. In baseball, a coveted .300 batting average means you fail way more than you get a hit. And for Michael Jordan to be the highest scorer, also meant he held the record of missing more shots than anyone.
Haven't we all been turned down on something we really, really wanted? But we walk away, saying that at least we tried.
So somewhere in those moments of waking up, I decided to go for some big ol' "No's" today and do it enthusiastically. (Yeah, right.) With cup of coffee in hand I turned on the news and remembered that today is the eight anniversary of 9/11.
And it hit me. Those folks that died that day would've loved more chances to try for their dreams and be told "No."
So today I'm going to send out those query letters remembering that life is short and we never know when our dreams run out of chances.

Quality or Quanity?

I'm starting Chapter 6 in my new book today. At this point in a book I'm not really sure where it's going. (See this previous blog for what that means.) http://kayshostak.blogspot.com/2009/07/welcome-to-my-world.html
So what I'm writing seems a little discombobulating and I'm not sure that it fits. Last night it hit me that a lot of what I'm writing right now will end up being taken out later because it's not needed to move the story along.
Barbara Kingsolver's book, "The Poisonwood Bible", tells the story through the eyes of five characters. At least that's what the final book is, but she initially wrote the entire book through each character's eyes. Then took parts from each of those to make the book. That's a lot of words to not use. But she wanted to know in her own mind and for her background what each character thought of each happening.
And that's what's going on with me - the scene I wrote yesterday may have been written just so I'd know what was going on at the house, but that may not be needed in the final story.
Made me think about how I often don't take the time to get to know the background and details of folks around me. I want to just get to the interesting part or the part that concerns me.
It's back to that time thing - it takes time to get to know my book characters or other folk. Time that might appear wasted, but makes everything else come into a clearer view.
It's that old argument about raising children, isn't it? Quality versus Quanity. Maybe that's it - to get to the Quality we have to invest some Quanity.
So where, and on whom, do I need to invest some Quanity today?

Speedbumps Wanted

Our pastor yesterday preached about temptation and not being led into it - ala last lines of The Lord's Prayer. He told a story of another pastor's dog getting sick after they accidentally left the pantry open and the dog got into a bag of chocolate. Pastor Long equated the goodies behind the pantry door to the things that tempt us. He said, "God will shut the pantry door, but he won't put a lock on it."
He pointed out we can, and should, pray for roadblocks between us and the pantry door. I've often used the same thought with the youth, but I called them "speedbumps." Our oldest, who honestly worked to not get in trouble, found himself involved in three infractions in a short timespan his freshman year of high school. I pointed out to him that he needed to see those problems as speedbumps. Speedbumps say, "Slow down. Pay Attention. Look where you're going."
I'm back to full-time writing again today. Kids are all packed off to school and vacation is over. However, before I get into working on my next book I am praying for speedbumps. Speedbumps to warn me when I'm getting off the path God wants me on. Speedbumps for when I'm tempted to not put my behind in the chair and write. Speedbumps for those temptations of writing something else because it might actually sell or it's something I can do fast.
And then my second prayer is, "God let me notice the speedbumps." Guess that means I'll have to turn down the radio, not go so fast and Pay Attention.
Here we go!

Circus Peanut Clouds

Between 6:45 and 7:15 this morning, clouds the color of circus peanuts floated over our house. They still make and sell circus peanuts, but I'm not sure who eats them. I've not seen anyone eating the soft, peachy-orange colored candies in many years.
My favorite crayon in the big, giant box was always the one named, 'sky blue'. It almost shimmered it was so blue. This morning the sky behind the clouds was 'sky blue'.
The sky looked like the ones painted in many of the old master's paintings you find hanging in museums. The kind of sky you see in a painting and it looks fake. And then you see the real thing and know a couple centuries ago an artist saw a morning sky like today's and thought, "I have to paint that."
What is it in some people that makes them need to re-create what they see around them? Or what they think? Or hear? I write because I love how words go together. When I read a beautiful line, I am enthralled and fascinated. I write because I love stories and what they mean to people.
Until I was in my thirties I thought everyone that liked to read, wanted to write. In my book group in Illinois we were discussing that month's book. I said, "Don't you just wish you'd written that?" To quote Christmas Story, they looked at me like I had lobsters coming out of my ears. Then I went home and asked Mike if he'd ever wanted to write and he said, "No, never even thought about it." I can truly say I was stunned.
Okay, God, I had no idea where this second blog about clouds was going.
Thank you for the reminder. I needed it.

Good Investments

In the movie "Confessions of a Shopaholic", the young woman tells the guy he's not a good investment. Her opinion spurs him to really look at his life. He was very successful, but was he investment worthy?
Every minute, every dollar, every worry or thought or blog or prayer is an investment in something. If it's squandered, I invested it into the black hole of wasted energy. But wasted or not - it is invested into something.
I've spent the last two days mostly alone. The kids are gone and Mike is out of town. I've been busy putting the house back into order and establishing a new order for just the two of us. But I've also had a lot of time to think.
Where do I want to invest all this time and energy I now have? The plan has been to really delve into my writing, but I don't want to just do that blindly. Intent leads to Purpose. Purpose leads to Passion. Passion leads to Wise Investments. I don't want to just move in a direction because it lays open in front of me.
I want to challenge my plans, challenge my choices and then invest all of me.
Intent - Purpose - Passion - Investment