Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Dicombobulated, again

I got all discombobulated yesterday in the grocery store.
Lizzy's favorite food is bacon. When I got to the bacon section I realized I won't be making it as much (hear that groaning? Mike must've just read this.) Then there were the lunchables she always took to the pool when lifeguarding. By time I got to the cream cheese, my mind was spinning. She likes to burn a bagel, put about a half inch of cream cheese on it and then a layer of bacon, put the top on and eat it like a sandwich. We go through a lot of cream cheese.
Wait - not anymore.
That's what got me all discombobulated. Life is getting ready to change and I can't really picture this change yet. At all. A big part of who I've been is the one that knows what each kid likes on their sandwiches. Who eats peanut butter with nuts and who eats smooth. Cereal prejudices was an upper level class all on it's own.
Cooking and shopping for two, sounds so much simpler - but I can't imagine it. We're in that inbetween time. Things are changing, last times are happening, newness hits each of us around every corner. The check list of things to get done is getting shorter every day and I can't think.
And I don't want to feel.
I don't want to look at this too closely and yet it's so compelling. Such an adventure - for all of us. And I know us - it will end up a good adventure.
But who could've imagined it would come so soon.


Scott said...

I hear ya, sister!

Shea Gilbert said...

I'm at a point wher you were a million years ago. My 3rd baby is going to kindergarten. I wasn't so sad with the first 2 going to school but somehow this one is hitting me. "they" said it was short, and I think I believed them...but I didn't realize how it would FEEL for time to pass so quickly. I just snapped my fingers.....I'm sure this is a strange place to find yourself in, Kay. Keep're great at it! and it will help those of us who are um....say 20 years from being where you are deal with it better when we get there.

Kay Dew Shostak said...

Hey Shea - when Lizzy went to kindergarten I had several moments of panic when I realized she wasn't in the car with me. I'd think, "Oh no! Where's Lizzy?" It felt so odd to be by myself. Yep, that time thing is a total mystery and even as you realize it's going fast and you try to capture every moment it just slips through your fingers. Thanks for your encouragement. Means everything! I'll keep you in my thoughts as Caleb heads off to begin his conquering of the world.

Jodie said...

Wow, Kay. That was beautiful. Really, who'd have thought there was deep thought in bacon and cream cheese? You are so right... and this was a wonderful reminder.

Kay Dew Shostak said...

Thanks, Jodie. I'm glad you like it and I know you'll have an extra hug or two for your cutie tonight!
Lizzy's roommate is back here at home and in the hospital! She had her tonsils out a week ago and last night after we all left she got a fever and today they put her in the hospital when it got to 104. Keep Hannah in your prayers - and Lizzy sleeping in the dorm room alone. such a bummer.

Vodka Logic said...

Mine went off to college but stayed hoem.. [college is only 6 miles away] I am lucky really the laundry will kept being done.