Do you ever have to get out of your own way? That's what I've been working on this week.
Mike's opportunity at work meant he'd be out of town most of the time in the upcoming months. Many times over the years that possibility has raised it's head, to only settle back down and not happen. So, this time I really hadn't thought about it. And then when it did happen, it happened fast. As in, "We've signed the contract. Can you drive me to the airport?" (ignore the fact Mike had been preparing for this for months - I just didn't think it would happen.)
I'm a creature of planning. I've often written here that sometimes I like the planning as much as the event. Ala Buddy the Elf - Anticipation is my favorite. Anticipation of something allows me to squeeze every moment of joy out, both before, during and after.
Anyway, without any planning of what his absence meant for me, I was left to wallow. Wallow in my unsureness, aloneness, unworthiness - you know - all that stuff we wallow in when wallowing is called for. And my wallowing was ratcheted up a notch because Mike was happier in his job than I'd ever seen him. Oh, woe is me . . .
So, this week I've been reading my favorite authors, praying, writing and getting past that big ol pile of mess called, Kay. No one else can mess things up for me as well as I can. Of course, I've put a lot of time in with Kay and know the right buttons to push.
How do you get past you when you are your main obstacle? Or is this something only I do? And if that is the case, ignore this blog. I'm fine.