Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Just a Caretaker

When the kids were 10, 8 and 6, they boarded a plane with Mike to Philadelphia. Mike, for work, and the kids to spend a week with Nana and Grandad Shostak. I sat at the gate and watched the plane pull away (pre 9/11) and panic began to rise. They were all on that plane. What if something bad happened?
Then God stepped into the panic. What if they have reached the end of their planned time on earth? What if it's time for them to come back to me? What if on the day I gave them to you, I knew it would only be for a short time? Did you do your best? Can you hand them back to me knowing you took care of them as I wanted? That even though their time was short, you helped them become what I envisioned when I first created them?
That stopped the panic cold. Slowly I started breathing and thinking and my head nodded, yes. Yes, I had done my best. Then I gave God permission to be God. Even with my childrens' lives.
We know now that Lizzy's cat, Smokey, died at the end of last week when he was hit by a car. A neighbor called yesterday after seeing the signs we posted. On Monday, Lizzy and I were out running errands and she started talking about Smokey. She said, "I saw so many poor cats on the mission trip that no one was taking care of. Even if Smokey doesn't come back, I know he had a good life and he was loved."
We are only loaned our loved ones; they do not belong to us.
I'm just the caretaker God selected to help Robert, Ryan and Lizzy become all he envisioned when he created them. What an amazing, and humbling, honor.


Tracy Ruckman said...

Beautiful post, but I'm so sorry about Smokey. Your daughter is wise.

Kay Dew Shostak said...

Thanks Tracy - I am proud of her. I'm interviewing Leanna Ellis for the next ACFW newsletter and it was such fun researching her and thinking up questions. Thanks for asking me to do that job!
only problem - I ordered her three books because they looked so good!