Well, I woke up grouchy this morning. And, no, it's not the old joke--it was me. Grouchy. Too many people. Too many directions. Too many things to do. And think. And do. And think. So I sat outside with my cup of coffee and felt grouchy. Then I heard - nothing. Realized the quietness is due to school being over. No buses, no kids at the bus stops, no teenagers peeling around the subdivision picking up their friends. A friend yesterday mentioned how she'd prepared her husband for summer and how the house & schedule will be chaos with the kids home all day. I remember how I use to plunge myself into the chaos and love it. All of it. The late nights at the ballfield, quick suppers, messy house, kids unbrushed hair for days on end and then as teenagers the going to bed with a houseful of kids still up, comings and going all evening, pool parties that had to be shushed because the neighbors have to go to work in the morning. I remember plunging into all that and loving it.
Then I realized - that's the problem. I'm trying to manage the chaos, control it, subdue it, fight it. Lizzy's home and she thinks there should be food here to eat. And there's a wedding in a couple weeks and those two think it's a big deal. And the newlyweds had this graduation ceremony and are moving and looking for jobs and well, shouldn't that all be figured out by now? I'm tired of thinking about it.
There's a poem I love:
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
He drew a circle that shut me out.
But love and I had wit to win.
We drew a circle that took him in.
So this morning I realized, Grouchy needs to Embrace the Chaos. Not just tolerate it, but face it full on with a smile and "welcome". So, here's to the chaos - time to rock and roll!