Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Permission to Offend Denied.

"You can't offend me." When a friend said that to me a few years back (Hi Connie), it became my favorite trait in a friendship. Another friend I was talking to yesterday says it this way, "If you want to offend me, you're going to have to really want to do it."
That attribute has become my favorite part of true friendship. The knowing of each others hearts. And the knowing that the person may have a bad day, or talk out of turn, or speak without thinking but because I know that person's heart - it's no problem. We just move on.
There are people out there who look to be offended - I don't spend much time around those people anymore. I use to, but there's just not that much breathing time on this planet. Of course, we all have to be in those folks sphere's, but I've also discovered this little trick, developing a mantra of "you can't offend me." But it's in a totally different way - as in - What offends me is my choice. What upsets me is my choice and having identified someone as a person who offends on a minute by minute basis - I'm just not giving that person the power to offend me.
There is SO much freedom in this way of thinking. True friendships become deeper and those folks looking to offend, no longer being a source of continual pain, can actually become enjoyable on some level.
And real freedom in my relationship with God comes when I say the same words to him. "God, you can not offend me." Why? Not because I've risen above him and don't care, no. It's because I'm saying to him, "I know you know my heart and want me to be all you envisioned before I was born. So, have at it God - I'm all yours and I promise, I won't be offended."
Take a check right now - Are you offended at someone or something?

5 comments:

Jfer said...

You said it all so very well, Kay. You are such a gifted writer and have a way of relating things that makes them easy to apply to your life. Thanks!

Kay Dew Shostak said...

Thanks Jennifer - you are just so supportive and encouraging. Your kids are blessed!

Kristine said...

Very good post and recommendations for dealing with being offended. I especially liked how you said we have the choice. We sure do! Life is too short to waste time and emotions on being offended. Thanks for this encouraging word. :)

Kay Dew Shostak said...

Thanks for YOUR encouragement, Kristine!

Margo Carmichael said...

Love it!